Plans

I have no immediate plans for a family vacation right now but after working many many hours last week making 53 trophies and 93 plaques among other things, I have been thinking a great deal of some good quality time off. I mean, leaving my home for a weeks vacation. I haven't done that in over 6 years. Sure, I have had a day off hear and there, but nothing else. I seriously need a vacation for my own sanity and for quality time with my "boys". My poor Linus is bacically being raised by his grandparents. My husband works Mon-Fri while I work Mon-Sat. Only 1/2 day on Saturday but still. I try and bring him with me on saturdays but if a customer comes in, he gets crabby and makes the time go alot slower. I have been thinking of going to every other saturday during the winter just so I can spend more time with just him. I can't really complain about Linus being with his grandparents though. At least they are related and love him just as Eugene and I do. My only complaint is that it's not me. I want to be with him ALL the time. I want him all to myself. I was like that when I first had him but then, 8 months later, I had an emergency appendectimy and Mema spent 3 weeks with him during the day while I recovered. Since then, she has kept him as part of her daycare and won't give him up. ( : Don't blame her though. He is very handsome if you ask me. I am very selfish when it comes to my own child. I only let certain people hold him and then, if I did let you, you were not allowed out of my sight as you held him. I battled post partum depression for a long time after he was born. Actually, over 2 years. I finally sought help and I am better. I still do have a fear of someone stealing Linus from me but I guess every parent deals with that. My first sign of post partum was the day I got home from the hospital and I was sitting in my chair at home holding him, my parents were over and my aunt came for a weekend visit but ended up staying 2 weeks. Thanks Aunt Mary. I love you!!!
Anyways, I kept looking out the window and then I would look back at the tv and start tearing up. My dad asked if I was ok, and that's when I lost it and became hysterical. He yelled for my mom and she and aunt Mary came running. I told her that I keep waiting for someone to pull in and tell me that Linus wasn't really mine, and that it was all a huge joke. My Mom just held me and reassured me that noone was coming for Linus and he was my baby forever. I guess when you wait so long to have a baby, you just think that when you have one, it was a joke. I sooo wanted a baby from when I first bacame a cousin in 1980. I was 3 1/2 when Martha was born and I instantly knew I wanted my own. I married when I was 20. Eugene didn't want ot have kids right away so we waited for a bit. Actually 6 1/2 years. That was hard for me too.
Linus has been the best blessing I have ever received to date.

I want more blessings like him but in due time, it will happen.
I hope.