It's been a trying 4 months

I have been sad and hurt for the past 4 months. Back in the middle of July, the greatest father to my husband passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack while out on a hike with 20 friends. It still hurts that he's not here and enjoying things with us. Well, he is here, but not physically. Our son is suffering tremendously and everyday asks if he Papa is coming home soon. He is understanding more and more everyday that we will not see Papa again until we get to heaven but he doesn't like it. Actually his words are "It's not fair". I whole heartedly agree son. My heart aches everyday for not getting to see him anymore. He was fabulous. When I married Eugene, all he ever wanted was for me to call him Dad. So I did. I am glad I honored his wish a long time ago. He was 66 and in fabulous shape. He was just starting to be a red belt in tae kwon do and exercised everyday, or hiked everyday, or would go walking in the wood with Linus. I would call him at least once a day to just chit chat and ask dumb questions just to talk to him. I am so honoed to have known and loved him. I have been married to Eugene for 12 1/2 years but I have known his family since I was 13. I always called him Mr. B. It was a slight challenge to call him Gene at first but then Dad felt much better and more respectful.

The most wonderful Husband, Dad, Papa, and Father in Law left this world on July 17, 2010. At his funeral, he packed out the church with over 400 attendees. I was in awe and I was honored to know such a man that touched so many people that had deep respect for him. There truly wasn't a dry eye in the church. Linus included.

Dad, I will see you again. I love you and thank you for making such an impact on my life.

Stressful Situations

How do you handle stress? Do you freeze and try to ignore it? Do you yell and scream with no good outcome? Or do you, like me, work through it? We all have stress. I own my own business and I am the sole person to do all the work, all the cleaning, all the organizing, the bill paying etc. Plus when I go home at night, I am the only person who does laundry. I do not let my husband touch that area as I do not know what my clothes would look like it he did them. ( : He is a wonderful house cleaner and organizer. I am blessed to have his help at home. Just this morning, I was informed that my husband is without any under garments for work. I found one pair in the clothes hamper from the weekend but that was it. I must tackle the pile when I get home tonight. I do hate putting clothes away but I love, sorting, washing, dryer, and folding laundry. Makes me smile. My all time favorite thing is when I wash sheets and blankets and put them outside on the line. Makes for fresher smelling bedding.
But anyways, with working 9-5:30 every monday thru friday, and 9-1 on saturday, makes for long weeks. Plus when I get home, the last thing I want to have to do is clean and take care of my own home. I do do it but with help from my husband and our son. We all have our jobs to do to make our home run smoother and less stressful if we all help out. Linus does the vacuuming, feeding the pets, helping put the dishes away, he puts all clothing in the laundry shoot, and he maintains his own bedroom. Yes, I make my 5 year old keep a clean room. And he loves to vacuum as long as he can wear earmuffs as he hates loud noises. ( I do go behind him and make sure its vacuumed correctly but he does do a good job).

Life is stressful at times but it is all about how we handle it. When I get to stressed, I just sit down, count to 10 and begin praying for strength to overcome the hurdle. I do forget sometimes that God is in control and He knows everything we are about to endure. There are times when I fail completely with handling my stress that I just take it to God and ask him for help. He is always waiting for us to ask for His help. He is ALWAYS willing to help with a smile on His face.
I am just now realizing that I can not do it all without Him. It does make me smile to know that He is always there for me.

Will you ask him to help you with your stress in life? I am positive He will be glad to carry the burden for you.

Sanity

I think we all "suffer" from insanity at times but I think its all normal. I will be first to raise my hand and say that my job can drive me batty and other times, I can be bored. Same as being a Mother. I love my title. Mom. I love picking Linus up from Mema's house everyday and he running to me yelling Mom. Makes me forget that earlier in the morning he was whining about which shirt he wanted to wear and then changed his mind after I already took it out of the closet. That drive me nuts. But I think sanity moments and insanity moments are all ok. Shows me that we are all human and we are far from perfect. I strive to be more like Christ and to learn to control my emotions and thoughts but I can't without His help. I do fail without Him. We are all human and we learn as we go alot of the times but we also as adults do know right from wrong. But how does a sane person think its ok to drive his/her car into a restaurant in hopes to die but not think of the people he/she may hurt. I do not understand that at all. I guess I don't have to as I am not the judge. Life. Choose to be level headed or to not care but don't sit on the fence wondering which side to be on. The choice is yours.

Introductions

I would like to introduce you to the people/animals in my home.

First is the love of my life Eugene. We have been together for almost 13 years and married for 11 1/2. We met when we were 13 at our church. We never really hung out together much but he was always ready and willing to help me whenever I needed a hand. A first major clue that he thought of me for more than just a friend. We've had bumps in our marriage and alot of other things but we always come home to each other after a long day at work and just relax and talk about our day. I find nothing more comforting than knowing that he will be home every night at 6pm. Well, unless he has to travel for work which doesn't happen very often. We got married at the young ages of 19 and 20. My parents haven't really said if they didn't approve of us getting married so young. His mom did. But she has come around and totally loves her latest title. Mema. Eugene and I were going to wait until as he said "perfect timing" before we had children but God had other plans. Oh how I loved it.

The second person in my home is the sweetest and most genuine boy ever. My son Linus Alexander Euclid. He loves to make us proud and strives for that everyday. He makes me proud everyday because I was chosen to be his mom. Sometimes I don't believe I deserve to be but God knew what he was doing when I was given Linus. I was given a child to love, hold, cherish, sing with and give eskimo kisses to. Oh how I love to watch him grow. He has recently shown a huge love for ANYTHING Godzilla. Oh how we love to watch him use his imagination as he plays with his Godzilla toys. I could watch him for hours. Of course, sometimes he asks Daddy to play and to watch my boys on the floor playing in priceless. He likes to ski, run, do TaeKwonDo, and chase our cat Esther around. Oh how he loves her.

Our furry family members are Guinness the airedale terrier mix and Esther the calico cat. Guinness was 8 months old when she came to live with us and she was a ball of energy. She spent one night in a kennel and since then, she has slept with us or with Linus. She was the first animal I was given and she was free. She has been the best dog since. She goes to work with me everyday and protects me. Well, she would if she could get up off the floor fast enough as she takes long hard naps here. But just knowing she's here makes me feel better. Esther was 7 weeks old when I brought her home. Our Pastor's wife found her pregnant momma at our church and couldn't leave her. Now, honestly, her mom was not the prettiest cat in my eyes but others thought she was beautiful. I kept telling Eugene I wanted a cat since I wasn't allowed to have any cats growing up ( by the way, a few years after I left home, my parents got not 1 but 2 cats). I went and checked out the kittens she had and she had a 4 different colored ones. I thought that was cool. The smallest one was the one I wanted. She was grey. Then she had a calico which my mom wanted. She also had a black male and an orange male. The day I went over to pick her up, Lois stopped me at the door and said "I think I made a mistake". I went in the house and she only had two kittens left. The black male and the calico with a huge orange spot on her head. It took me a few minutes to decide if I wanted that girl or if I was going to take a male even though I didn't want a male. I left a few minutes later with Esther Ruth. The best decision of the day. Got home and Guinness thought she was a toy until she squeaked. Those 2 have been good friends since and it's rarely we find those 2 apart at home. They always cuddle on our bed and lay there for hours.
I never knew having animals was so much fun. They made not having a baby right away a little easier. It was a good thing because I was so over protective of those two. I didn't want to leave them in the house alone for I thought they would've died without me there. Surely I was wrong.

Here we are almost 12 years of marriage later and our lives are full. Full of fantastic friends, steady jobs and each other. Some days we'd rather just run away but reality hits and we stay home.

4th of July

Happy 4th of July Everyone!
I hope your weekend is fantastic and the weather is awesome.

Well, where have I been?

Wow, I can't believe it's been overa month since I posted last. Alot has gone on but obviously not enough time to blog. Last month, my son turned 4. He had a fantastic birthday party. Pirate themed. All the kids had fun. I love parties for kids. Well, I shouldn't say that. I do like parties for big people too but watching the kids faces is so much more fun. ( :

Work has been steady. Not overloaded or dead. I have been liking the fact that my adopted sister June came in and helped me clean out the office. Haven't done that..ever. We bought this place in 2002 and never went through it. June sure did and we threw out alot more bags than I care to admit.

Eugene and I are enjoying this warm weather we have been having. Nothing like having 2 happy parents. ( : Linus pulled out his jumpoline the other day and he jumped in it for, no lie, like 10 minutes and said he was done. I was not about to let the air out of it right away so I rolled it into the living room and left it there until last night when I couldn't stand not being able to get to the tv so I removed the air and put it away. I wish we had a fenced in play yard for Linus but no such luck yet. It's very windy in our neighborhood so leaving the blown up jump-o-lene out just isn't the right thing to do.

I think the winds of change are happening in our family right now but I will have to blog about that at a later date. And no, we are not planning on having another child right now.

Go outside and enjoy the fresh air.

Pray for Stellan!

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please pray for Stellan! And his family too!!!